


And I need that fire just to know that I'm awake

by felinedetached



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Erratic Updates, F/F, GOD ill add more tags as they become relavant, Gen, Slow Burn, Time Travel, Time Travel Fix-It, and also 22, ankos gonna date OLDER sakura yall & shes traumatised, currently abandoned/on hiatus, idk if ill come back to it but i might so??? keeping my options open, the author has school, this is gonna be a long fic yall
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2018-07-20
Packaged: 2019-06-10 15:47:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15294807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/felinedetached/pseuds/felinedetached
Summary: "Just," Naruto sighs, and he seems so mucholder, so much more mature than he had just six short months ago. "Get in the seal over there.""What?" Sakura says because at this point she's learnt to be wary of most things; even Naruto's orders, sometimes. "Why? What does it do?""No fucking clue," Naruto says, then pauses, and amends his words. "Actually, I have some idea, but only because I recognised a few of the symbols.""Oh?" Shikamaru says, and Sakura groans when she notices he's followed the instructions. "What symbols?""A few for time," Naruto says distractedly, pushing Sakura towards the seal. She offers minimal resistance, but she doesn'thelpeither. "It's probably either a stasis seal that'll keep you guys safe for a pretty fucking long time, which is what we need, or it's something to do with time travel, which at that point, who fucking knows what'll happen."In which everything goes to shit and time-travel is, apparently, a thing.





	1. Prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> > _And I feel it running through my veins_  
>  _And I need that fire just to know that I'm awake_  
>  _Erased, I missed till the break of day_  
>  _And I need that fire just to know that I'm awake_  
> 
> 
> \- [Until We Go Down, Ruelle](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQqUYFjcyOc)

Sakura's actually not sure how this all went so badly wrong. The war was a given - war had been looming since before Sakura even started the academy - a constant presence in the near-past and a constant threat for the near-future. But... a war on this scale, with this much destruction?

 

She wasn't prepared for this.  _ No one _ was prepared for this.

 

_ Konoha is gone _ , Inner says, uncharacteristically blank. It's horror, written through her voice and across her face; coming across as a particular brand of apathy Sakura knows all too well.

 

_ Konoha isn't coming back _ , she thinks back, and  _ fuck _ that's a depressing thought.

 

Shikamaru nudges her, though, where he's running alongside her - one of the few left from the original group of twelve. "Konoha is its people," he tells her; and she hadn't realised she'd been speaking out loud.

 

Konoha is its people; and its people are almost all gone, now. Naruto stands as Hokage, finally (she'd never doubted him, not  _ really,  _ or if she had she'd never been able to admit it); unable to become what he  _ really _ wanted to become (a guardian, a symbol; someone to protect Konoha and all her people) because those that he had once wished to be acknowledged by now lay torn apart by a being far more powerful than even him.

 

(They never stood a chance.)

 

Konoha is its people; and Konoha is dead.

 

(She tells him this, sad and quiet, voice revealing only the apathy she had trained so hard to gain. Shikamaru grimaces, a twisted, horrible expression - one that she never wants to see on his face again - and admits, just as quietly as she had that  _ yes, Konoha is dead _ .)

 

Instead, her last remaining citizens - all ninja; because if the  _ ninja _ population's only choice was to run, if even Naruto, with his immense chakra reserves and insane power, couldn't defeat their opponent, then the civilians were doomed from the start - run; they run and they run and they run, hoping against hope that they can escape the fate that is left to them. 

 

* * *

 

With every battle; it's her and Shikamaru they gather around -  _ "We can't afford to lose you two," Naruto said, once, pulling them up as they run (She'd been stupid, she realises now, stupid and silly and she almost destroyed  _ **_everything_ ** _ because what society can survive without a  _ **_medic_ ** _ ), "You're are the reason we've survived so long." _ \- ensuring that whatever happens, they'll be left behind. She  _ hates _ it; hates that she can't do anything because one of the first fucking lessons drilled into her brain was  _ the medic cannot fall first _ . 

 

_ Idiot, _ Inner says,  _ Idiot, idiot, idiot. They're right. We can't be frontline anymore _ .

 

Tsunade-shishou has already fallen; she went down with Konoha itself and now Sakura is the only one left who would even be remotely capable of healing people fast enough to allow them to stay on the run. Without Sakura; they would have to abandon their injured. She can't afford to be on the front lines; even with her supernatural strength and healing.

 

* * *

 

They may be on the run, but there's no time for stinginess here - everyone needs every advantage they can get. So those that remain teach everyone everything they can - she learns poisons from Anko and Genma, learns the Nara clan jutsus from Shikamaru. ( _ "The clan is dead, and so are we," he said, sad and tired but still willing to teach her all he knew about his clan secrets, "What's the point of secrets staying secret?" _ ) She teaches medicine to everyone; teaches medical jutsus to fewer, but still enough. Kakashi teaches them every jutsu for their affinities he knows and then some. Shikamaru's fire jutsus work often; lighting up the battlefield and frying all that remains, but they leave him with burns on his hands and lips that she heals every time. He hasn't quite learned to control them yet, but he has no other choice.

 

(When Kakashi falls, she cries. Sakura feels like she hasn't cried in years, but with Naruto and Shikamaru comforting presences by her side, she's free to do so.

 

_ He wasn't the best teacher, at first,  _ Inner says,  _ But I liked him. And he got better. _

 

_ Shut up _ , Sakura tells her.)

 

* * *

 

They're cornered in Uzushikogakure. They're in the main hall, barricaded in - what else can they do? - and they're surrounded.

 

_ No escape,  _ Inner whispers, breathy and more scared than Sakura's ever heard her. She should probably be comforting - comforting to her own Inner self,  _ ha _ , but instead, she hisses a breathy  _ no shit _ back. Something  _ heavy _ slams against the door and Naruto snarls, spinning around to face her and Shikamaru standing near the back of the hall. 

 

"Fuck," he hisses, practically sprints back down the hall towards them. "Right, okay, we've got no choice now."

 

Shikamaru barks a laugh, bitter and harsh, says "When have we ever had a choice?" And Sakura snorts despite herself. Shika's right, after all -  after Konoha's destruction, they really had nothing left to do but run and die.

 

"Just," Naruto sighs, and he seems so much  _ older _ , so much more mature than he had just six short months ago. "Get in the seal over there."

 

"What?" Sakura says because at this point she's learnt to be wary of most things; even Naruto's orders, sometimes. "Why? What does it do?"

 

"No fucking clue," Naruto says, then pauses, and amends his words. "Actually, I have some idea, but only because I recognised a few of the symbols."

 

"Oh?" Shikamaru says, and Sakura groans when she notices he's followed the instructions. "What symbols?"

 

"A few for time," Naruto says distractedly, pushing Sakura towards the seal. She offers minimal resistance, but she doesn't  _ help _ either. "It's probably either a stasis seal that'll keep you guys safe for a pretty fucking long time, which is what we need, or it's something to do with time travel, which at that point, who fucking knows what'll happen."

 

"I'm guessing you don't," Sakura says dryly. Naruto laughs, something falsely cheerful. He doesn't answer though, just keeps pushing Sakura until she's standing in the seal with Shikamaru. The door booms and shakes again, creaks open just a little, and those that are left spread out in a rough semi-circle around the seal. Naruto smiles, something soft and sad and the same false cheer of his laugh. 

 

The door bursts open behind them, and Anko sends a wave of fire in a Jutsu she'd been building up since the second hit. Naruto smiles, his chakra flaring as he slams his hands down on the seal.

 

The last thing Sakura sees is Naruto's coat flaring behind him as he spins to face the flood of white chakra constructs climbing through the door.

 

* * *

 

Sakura wakes up slowly; a rarity, nowadays. There's little around her, none of Naruto's supernaturally-enhanced chakra flooding the air. Just the soft, gentle waves of Shika's chakra; the way it feels when he's asleep. She opens her eyes slowly, another rarity -  _ you get up or you get dead, _ Inner whispers in her head - and sees the arching roof of Uzushikogakure's main hall high over her head. Groaning - everything hurts,  _ fuck  _ \- she turns her head to see Shika, lying unconscious ( _ but breathing, he's alive _ , Inner observes, relieved) on his side next to her.

 

(Distantly, she notices a seal carved into the ground below them.)

 

Groaning again, she forces herself to sit up; and  _ god _ even training with  _ Gai _ didn't make her hurt this badly.  She grits her teeth and pushes through the pain, standing and stumbling towards the heavy wooden doors. Pushing them open, she hesitates; glances back at Shika.

 

( _Haven't you learnt anything?_ Inner hisses, venomous, _you leave him alone, he dies._ _That's how the world works._ )

 

So she limps her way back over to him, muscles pulling -  _ fuck _ that hurts - as she walks until she finally collapses beside him.

 

"Shika," she says, knowing better than to touch a disoriented, stressed and mostly asleep ninja. "C'mon, wake up."

 

"No," Shika whines instantly - the  _ fucker _ , he was awake the whole time - "Everything hurts."

 

Groaning, Sakura tugs at her chakra, pulling until the light-green of medical chakra lights up her hands. It's not much - she's tired, and everything hurts - but having at least one of them able to move with less pain is a good thing. Shika groans again as she eases his muscles the best she can, and finally sits up.

 

"You look like shit," he says, blunt as ever; and Sakura laughs, leaning against him.

 

"You can't say much." Shika wrinkles his nose at her, and she laughs again, quieter this time as her eyes try to slide shut without her permission. "It hurts," she whines and he nods, heaving her up beside him.

 

"C'mon, let's go see what we're dealing with."

 

They leave the hall to blue sky; a bright, yellow sun, bright green grass and healthy trees. It's completely different from what Sakura remembers - dark  _ everything,  _ malevolent chakra soaking into the earth and sky itself. Sakura doesn't think she's actually seen the sun for  _ years _ .

 

"Well," Sakura starts, flexing her chakra to no change, "We're either in a very convincing genjutsu, or that seal had something to do with time travel."

 

Shika snorts. "No hope that it was a status seal and we won?"

 

"They would have come to free us," Sakura says, confident in her analysis. "I'm thinking the seal had something to do with time travel because I don't think we would have woken up in pain in that seal if it was a genjutsu."

 

"Mh," Shika says, "I think you're right." He glances down at her, scrunches up his nose again - he's like a cat when he does that, it's fucking adorable - and says, "I'm presuming you want to head to Konoha?"

 

Sakura snorts back, says, "You presume right," because that's the main way they'll find out if this seal really  _ did _ have something to do with time travel - they've both known Konoha all their lives; and last they saw it it was utterly devastated. It being there  _ at all _ is a sign of time travel.

 

Shikamaru sighs, ignores her whines at how badly she aches and helps her hobble off towards the docks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The [Genjutsu Support Group](https://discord.gg/J55gftf) has put up with me whining about this, and also voted for posting the prologue before I technically get shit sorted, because _school holidays_ (*waves my hands around in glee*) so I don't have much to do!
> 
> Except for like, four zine fics and a big bang fic, but it's okay, I'll figure it out. Sorry about whatever the fuck this update schedule's going to be, and thank-you, if you decide you're going to put up with it!
> 
> Come yell at me on [tumblr](https://felinedetached.tumblr.com/)!


	2. chapter one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> > Konoha is... odd. It's different, in some ways, but it really is the same old Konoha Sakura remembers living in for her whole life. It's a Konoha from before Orochimaru's attack, from before Pein's attack, from before Zetsu's attack. It's a Konoha that she almost doesn't remember anymore. From the way Shikamaru catches his breath beside her, settling back on his heels, she knows he feels the same. The sunlight filters through the leaves and falls on them in a way that Sakura's not used too as they watch their village go around its daily life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I wasn't going to post this for a while because, well, this was the only other chapter I'd _actually written_ so far, but.
> 
> 22 subscriptions, 32 kudos, 3 comments.
> 
> I love you guys???? Have this chapter like five days early omg.

They reach their destination three days later. She hurts less, by that point, but she's still nowhere near as healed as Shikamaru is - although he had a medic to help him through it all.

 

Konoha is... odd. It's different, in some ways, but it really _is_ the same old Konoha Sakura remembers living in for her whole life. It's a Konoha from before Orochimaru's attack, from before _Pein's_ attack, from before Zetsu's attack. It's a Konoha that she almost doesn't remember anymore. From the way Shikamaru catches his breath beside her, settling back on his heels, she knows he feels the same. The sunlight filters through the leaves and falls on them in a way that Sakura's not used too as they watch their village go around its daily life.

 

"Kotetsu and Izumo are manning the gate," Shikamaru says in Sakura's ear and she snorts. Those two were notorious for letting in people that they _probably_ shouldn't have, but it often turned out okay and most Jounin held a soft spot for the two. Honestly, the aforementioned soft spot is likely 90% of the reason they haven't been demoted yet - that, and their almost supernatural ability with most weapons. Sakura had learned from them, back when their band had been larger, and even she never got to the same level they had been.

 

( _They're our greatest failure_ , Inner says, deep in her head, and Sakura has to agree.)

 

"We could probably just walk in," she replies, laughs at his soft laugh, and they share the most honest smile they've had in a while. Neither of them will risk it, though, and they both know it. No one had _told_ them to change what happened if they landed in the past; _Naruto_ hadn't told them what to do; but how could they not, knowing what they know?

 

It's a self-imposed mission, but regardless, they cannot risk failure. They cannot see their village fall for a third, fourth, _fifth_ time, _knowing_ they could do something about it.

 

(A mission self-imposed is still a mission, after all.)

 

"I mean," Shikamaru says, and Sakura tenses, because that's the voice he has when he has an idea that's _objectively_ stupid, but is going to suggest it anyway. "We probably could just walk in - I'm the _stereotype_ of a Nara."

 

"You're a fucking idiot," she tells him, socks his arm and slings the same arm over his shoulder. Jokingly, she flicks an appraising look up and down his body. "You're too hot to be a Nara."

 

"Hey!" Shikamaru says, sighs as she snickers at his offence. "Troublesome woman."

 

"Of course," she agrees amicably, "but we still can't just walk in. My hair's too memorable."

 

"Henge?" he suggests, and Sakura honestly considers checking for brain damage. Instead, she just looks at him, entirely too aware of the way her thoughts are projected on her face. "Yeah, okay," he says, leaning against her.

 

"What if," Sakura says slowly, "we tell them the truth?"

 

Shikamaru's look rivals hers in its deadpan disbelief. "We tell Kotetsu and Izumo that we're time travellers here to stop our village from being destroyed?"

 

"No," she says, inordinately patient for an _amazingly_ stupid partner - he's a fucking _Nara_ , why is he so _idiotic_? Boys. "We tell them that we're foreign ninja here to see the Hokage."

 

"Oh," Shikamaru says, like he's realising something that makes him feel idiotic - _good,_ Inner thinks, all mild guilt and vindictive glee - "That could work."

 

Sakura sniffs, turns up her nose like Ino used to whenever something didn't go her way and says, " _Of course_ it'll work!" Shikamaru looks at her suspiciously, before bursting into a helpless kind of laughter that makes Sakura feel warm inside. They're _alive_ , and they don't have to worry about being ambushed by half-immortal and never-ending beings, even if they do occasionally have to worry about ambush from other _humans_.

 

(And isn't the whole idea of _other humans_ a trip; Sakura's not used to there being anyone outside their small group and Zetsu.)

 

They're alive, and they can laugh freely like this. Sakura kind of loves it.

 

"We'll do that then," Shikamaru says, bringing her back into the moment. Sakura wrinkles her nose - she's going to have to smile; to _act_ for this plan, and after this long, she's sure she's pretty rusty - but Shikamaru rests his arm over her shoulders. It's a comforting weight, the feeling of having someone she _knows_ here for her.

 

* * *

 

When they jump down, she's only partially ready, but that's okay because she has Shikamaru here, has his arm over her shoulder and his Chakra brushing light and easy against her own. Kotetsu and Izumo straighten up as they approach, their hands hovering suspiciously over their weapons. Sakura approves.

 

"Hey!" She says, as bright as she can make herself be, offering a wave to the two chunin gate guards. "We're here to see the Hokage, is that okay?"

 

"The Hokage?" Kotetsu says, suspicion in his voice and in his eyes as he glares at them. "What business do you have with the Hokage?"

 

"Information trade," Shikamaru says easily, a feigned openness shifting how he holds himself. "We have information to offer, and ask only for refuge in return." The two chunin stare suspiciously for a few more seconds before Izumo gives a nod, racing off to - presumably - get someone to escort them in. Sakura settles down against the poles holding up the gate to wait, feeling Shikamaru follow seconds later, leaning up against her side. She almost falls asleep here, in the shade of Konoha's gate with Shikamaru resting against her. It's warm, and shaded, and _safe_ somehow, even in this Konoha that's an old mirror of her own.

 

* * *

 

Shikamaru nudges her awake when Izumo returns, two ANBU at his side. It isn't at all a vicious awakening, but it is a startling one - she hadn't even realised she'd fallen asleep. That probably says volumes about her comfort levels here; they're alarmingly high and Sakura's going to need to fix that somehow.

 

Regardless, she climbs to her feet - slowly, no need to appear as a threat - and snaps a quick salute at Kotetsu, who watched over her and Shikamaru as they dozed. Sakura kind of loves him for that, if she didn't kind of love him already. Then she turns, heads towards Shikamaru and the ANBU just ahead, smiling just slightly because she's _home,_ and this time, she's going to save it.

 

* * *

 

The Hokage's office is just as she remembers it, from before when Sarutobi was in office, when Tsunade was in office, when Kakashi was in office. (When _Naruto_ was in office, although the majority of his leadership was months and months of ninja on the run, fleeing desperately from something none of their three living Hokage could defeat, even working together.) The Sandaime Hokage sits at the desk, long-dead in Sakura's memory and not someone she's overly affected by seeing. Shikamaru isn't so lucky - he sees his teacher in the lines of Sarutobi's face, in the cigar hanging from his lips, and Sakura slings an arm over his shoulders and draws him in. It's a hug, almost, but not quite.

 

( _An undercover hug,_ Inner whispers. Sakura almost laughs, holds it back with willpower and willpower alone, while Inner, the lucky bitch, laughs at both her own joke and at Sakura herself.)

 

"So," a long-dead Hokage says, "Foreign ninja with information, asking only shelter? It is understandable that I am curious, even suspicious, is it not?" As he says this, Sakura realises with a dawning horror that they did not plan what they would tell him. From Shikamaru's hurried glance, it is obvious that he feels the same; and Sakura simultaneously breathes a sigh of relief that she is not alone in her idiocy and feels the overwhelming urge to cuff her _idiot_ of a partner around the head - with that glance, the Hokage will trust nothing they tell him without evidence.

 

 _He's supposed to be a Nara!_ Inner wails in despair. Sakura can't help but agree.

 

"I am presuming you want the truth, Hokage-sama," Sakura starts, speaking as calmly as she can manage. "We offer it freely, and warn that the information shared in this room will be dangerous in the wrong hands." Sarutobi eyes her, but flares his chakra to activate the silencing seals anyway. Shikamaru is giving her a similar look from her side, and she glances at him, exasperated. Thankfully, he seems to get what she means, because he steps forwards and bows just slightly.

 

"Hokage-sama," he says, "I am Nara Shikamaru and this is my partner, Haruno Sakura."

 

 _Woah,_ Inner says, _just coming out with it, are we?_ Sakura stifles a smile and joins Shikamaru in his bow. The Hokage watches them, calculating, before glancing past them at the two ANBU standing by the door.

 

Eventually, he says, "Nara Shikamaru and Haruno Sakura are two students attending their last year at the academy this year." The look he gives them is cool, like an iced-over bridge, liable to send them flying into the frozen water below. "You're going to have to try harder than that."

 

Sakura straightens, looks Sarutobi Hiruzen in the eye, and says, "Shimura Danzo is operating an ANBU cell known as Root, which you ordered disbanded. The Uchiha Massacre was ordered by Danzo, carried out by Uchiha Itachi and covered up by you." One of the two ANBU steps forward, but Shikamaru falls in behind her. His glare is a terrible thing - all Nara glares are, really, because it is not often they make an appearance - and the ANBU member freezes. Sakura continues. "Uzumaki Naruto is the Kyuubi Jinchuriki, son of the previous Jinchuriki, Uzumaki Kushina and her husband, Namikaze Minato. Uzumaki Mito was the Kyuubi Jinchuriki before her, as well as the Princess of Uzushisokagure, Konoha's greatest failure and the last known location of Uzumaki Naruto, the Nanadaime Hokage of Konoha, as he used the last of his chakra to activate a seal that sent both the head of Konoha's hospital and apprentice to the Godaime Hokage, Haruno Sakura and Jounin Commander Nara Shikamaru back in time." Sakura sucks in a breath, lets it out, and levels her gaze at Sarutobi. He's watching her with less wariness and more _shock,_ which is exactly what she was going for.

 

Then Shikamaru stops glaring at the ANBU and sidles up by her side. When he opens his mouth to continue, she makes no move to stop him. "They watched all that was left of Konoha fall with its leader, and woke up on Uzushisokagure, ten years in the past."

 

 _Short, sweet and effective_ , Inner comments, audibly pleased.

 

And it _is_ effective - Sakura watches as Sarutobi Hiruzen's face shifts from shock to _pity,_ from something that could have left them out to something that will get them _in_.

 

 _This is why he's a genius_ , Inner comments, that undercurrent of smug pleasure still lighting up her voice. Sakura can't help but agree - he really is one; a lazy genius, but a genius nonetheless.

 

Sarutobi looks at them, silent but pitying; and says, "Tell me about the future." Shikamaru sighs in that way he does when he wants to call something troublesome but can't, and Sakura offers a tight smile.

 

"That might take a while," she says, "We're not even sure how far back we went."

 

"I'm reasonably sure it's at least ten years?" Shikamaru offers. Sakura only shrugs, before fixing her eyes on the Hokage.

 

"You said we're in our last year?" she asks, "When's the genin exams?" Sarutobi looks at her carefully, before apparently deciding she's trustworthy enough for this information.

 

"Today," he says, and Sakura mentally reclassifies 'trustworthy enough for the information' into 'unable to do anything about it anyway'. Shikamaru frowns, thoughtful, and Sarutobi smirks at them, almost all-powerful and seemingly all-knowing (although they know otherwise). It's no wonder he was called the God of Shinobi.

 

"Then it is ten years," she says, turning to Shikamaru. "We could fix a lot with a ten year grace period." Sarutobi stares at them, almost glaring as they completely ignore him in favour of considering what they _can_ fix, with this amount of time on their hands.

 

"We can't help Obito," Shikamaru says, ignoring Sarutobi as he perks up at the name of Kakashi's old teammate, "He was gone for years by this point." Sakura whines, because Obito is the root of like 80% of the world's problems, and fixing that would have been the best way to change the course of history. "I know," Shikamaru says, pats her head like she's a particularly insistent puppy. She snarls, whacks his hand and humphs as he laughs quietly, turning back to the Hokage.

 

"We'll try to summarise the events the best we can," he tells Sarutobi, "but we may be here for a while."

 

The Hokage shrugs, leans back in his chair, and says, "I've got nothing to do."

 

* * *

 

By the time they've finished, Sakura's throat is dry and her voice hoarse. Shikamaru doesn't sound much better, his voice just as hoarse. She feels like she's going to cry, with the way her eyes burn and her throat aches, and she angrily swipes a hand across her eye.

 

 _Ninja don't cry_ , Inner says, but she sounds like she's going to cry too. Sakura doesn't blame her - they lost so much; lost so _many_ , and to tell their story they had to tell of who died. Sarutobi pities them, plainly and openly, his eyes crinkled like he's going to cry too. It's not that much of a surprise - he likely knows the dead better than they do, and they had to tell him that he and those he holds dear would all be falling in the next ten years.

 

"I'm sorry," Sakura whispers, the words scratching in her throat, "I tried to save them."

 

Shikamaru's arm wraps around her, pulling her into a hug, and Sarutobi's voice rings through the office. "You did the best you could," he says, kinder than she'd expect from the leader of a village facing unknown ninja - because that's what they are at the moment, _unknown ninja_ , regardless of how much that thought hurts. Then Sarutobi says something _else_ unexpected - something they'd hoped for, desperately, but never thought they'd get; even by telling their story. "Cat and Crow will take you to your new housing in the Jounin apartments," he says, gesturing to the two ANBU who had led them to the Hokage tower in the first place, "You'll be enstated as Jounin of Konoha, under surveillance for the first few weeks, of course."

 

"Of course," Shikamaru says, inclining his head, "Thank you for your help, Hokage-sama."

 

Sarutobi watches them for a moment, then asks, "What would you like me to put down as your names?"

 

"Uhm," Sakura says, blankly, "We need names?"

 

"Oh," Shikamaru says, "Yeah. We need names."

 

"We'd have to get the Naras on board," Sakura muses, "Because the easiest way to get around us both being able to use the Nara clan techniques is to, well, be Naras."

 

"Oh no," Shikamaru says, staring at her in horror, "You are not making me tell this shit to my dad."

 

Sarutobi stares, sighs, and says, "I'll call Shikaku."

 

* * *

 

Nara Shikaku reacts almost exactly as Sakura expected - with disbelief, followed by a long, drawn-out sigh, and a comment so similar to Shikamaru's favourite saying there's really no question about his friend's Nara heritage. "So," the head of the Nara clan says, turning to them, "Names?"

 

Shikamaru looks at her, smirks, and says, "Sakura should be Shikamari." Sakura can't help but snort at that - he _would_ give her a name so similar to his own that only a single character makes the difference.

 

Shikaku nods, the Hokage makes a note, and both look expectantly at Shikamaru. Sakura taps her fingers against her chin, thinking, before she says, "Shikaken."

 

"Like study?" Shikamaru asks, curious. Sakura smiles, shaking her head.

 

"Like sharpen. It suits you, I think."

 

Sarutobi nods in agreement, writing it down. "I'd have to agree."

 

"Nara Shikamari and Nara Shikaken," Shikaku says, offering a smile, "I'd like to extend a formal invitation to have you stay in our compound."

 

"It would look a bit weird if we weren't, I think," Sakura offers up, "I don't know all that much about clan things."

 

"Troublesome," Shikamaru sighs, in a way that _definitely_ means it would seem weird if they didn't stay in the Nara compound, "But then we'll have to find a way to avoid Shikamaru."

 

Sakura groans, glaring at her partner. "Why'd you have to be such an intelligent kid! He'll figure it out too quickly."

 

"Why don't we do it this way," Shikaku offers, "You stay at the compound for a while - say, a week or so - and then move into the Jounin Apartments. It _is_ something that happens, even if it's a rather rare occurrence."

 

"Thank you, Shikaku-san," Sakura says, bowing slightly, "Your help is most appreciated."

 

Shikaku laughs, ruffles her hair and says, "There's no need to be so polite." He offers a smile, adding, "Politeness is troublesome." The Nara clan head leads them from the Hokage tower, offering a quick goodbye to Sarutobi. "There are a few free houses on the outskirts of the compounds," he tells them, "You'll be staying in one of those. I have to tell you to come to dinner tomorrow night, though - I can only hold Yoshino off for a day, the troublesome woman."

 

"It's a miracle you can hold her off that long," Shikamaru mutters. Sakura laughs, lightly whacks his arm and leans into him.

 

"Don't insult your mother," she scolds, curling her arm around his as they arrive at the compound, "It's mean." Shikaku snorts at them, pushing open the gate and leading them to a house that sits quite close to the edge of the compound.

 

When Shikaku leaves them, he leaves them with the house keys. "Have a good sleep," he says, a wry smile twisting his lips.

 

 _Ha_ , Inner laughs, speaking for the first time in a long time - she'd quieted, after having to talk about what happened in their timeline - _sleeping well? When was the last time we slept well?_

 

 _I think that's why he's smiling like that,_ Sakura replies quietly, tilting her head onto Shikamaru's shoulder. Outloud, she says, "Thank-you, Shikaku-san."

 

"Just call me Shikaku," he replies, as he walks off. "Can't be too formal if we're family, after all."

 

"C'mon, Sakura," Shikamaru says, tugging her inside, "Let's get some sleep."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A quick reminder that the [Genjutsu Support Group](https://discord.gg/J55gftf) exists, and is full of chill people who yell about Naruto a lot, and also that I'm here on [tumblr](https://felinedetached.tumblr.com/).
> 
> I'll keep calling Sakura Sakura in her thoughts, but Shikamaru will become just Shika because, well... Baby Shikamaru is running around, lmao. They'll call each other Shikamari and Shikaken out loud, though!


	3. chapter two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> > Sakura ignores her. Everything feels like a dream - she's here, in Konoha, with people who had been dead just three days ago. She's here with Shika, living on the edges of the Nara compound, exhausted despite her sleep but alive, and it doesn't feel real. Sakura almost thinks it won't ever feel real. Then Shika walks out of the bedroom, yawning and grumbling, and it's like his presence washes away the otherworldly feel of everything here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 69 subscribers. _nice._

Sakura wakes up with a something  _far_  too soft underneath her, a weight over her waist and a warmth along her back. It's nice, if a little constricting, and she nudges Shika to get him off before rolling out of the bed. She can't remember the last time she slept in a bed - even heading towards Konoha they'd camped out in the forest; it was just  _easier_ , especially with their lack of money. Sometimes, she had missed her Jounin salary, and now, as she explores the house they've been placed in, she realises she'll have that salary again. 

 

 _It'll be interesting_ , Inner says,  _seeing everything happen again from a different perspective. Seeing what happens when you change too much. How will you protect them when you've changed the course of history enough that you don't know what will happen?_

 

Sakura ignores her. Everything feels like a dream - she's here, in Konoha, with people who had been  _dead_  just three days ago. She's here with Shika, living on the edges of the Nara compound, exhausted despite her sleep but  _alive_ , and it doesn't feel real. Sakura almost thinks it won't  _ever_  feel real. Then Shika walks out of the bedroom, yawning and grumbling, and it's like his presence washes away the otherworldly feel of everything here.

 

"It's too early," he grumbles, and Sakura laughs, tugging him to sit at the kitchen table.

 

"I'll make you some coffee," she says, and he perks up instantly, like a dog being promised a walk. Sakura snorts, opening the cupboard, and promptly realises that they haven't got anything - food or otherwise. "Oh," she says, and then realises that they also don't have any money  _to_  buy food. "Oh, no."

 

"Don't say that," Shika whines, "It's too early for problems."

  
  
"We have no food," she tells him, and he lifts his head from where it's pressed to the kitchen table in order to glare blearily at her.

 

"Fuck," he mutters quietly, and it's a problem, but he's so irritated that Sakura bursts into helpless laughter, leaning against the kitchen counter. "Ugh," he says, standing up and ignoring her laughter, "My parents will probably help." Then he starts walking towards the door, and Sakura laughs again.

 

"Maybe you should get dressed first?" she suggests through her giggles, taking deep breaths to calm down before Shika looks down at himself, swears, and practically runs back to their room. When he comes back, she's still laughing, in helpless little bursts that leave her leaning against the countertop, unable to support her own weight.

 

Shikamaru smiles, warm, and holds open the door. "Let's go beg some breakfast off my parents." Sakura snorts, offers a sarcastic salute as she goes through the door, and lets Shika lead her to the centre of the Nara compound, where the clan head's family lives.

 

(It is, of course, because they have the worst luck ever, Shikamaru who opens the door.)

 

"Who are you?" the twelve-year-old version of her best friend says, and it takes everything in her not to coo.

 

 _He's adorable,_  Inner whispers,  _nothing's happened to him yet._

_I have to protect him_ , Sakura thinks back, and feels Inner nod in agreement.

 

"I'm Shikaken," Shika says, "and this is Shikamari. We're here to see Shikaku - is he your dad?"

 

 _Oh my god,_ Inner says,  _he's good with kids_.

 

Choosing to ignore her, for now, Sakura smiles down at baby Shikamaru. He looks up at them, distrustful, before he sighs - just like her Shika does; he hasn't changed that much after all - and steps aside to let them in. "Troublesome," he says, "Mom's in the kitchen."

 

He leads them off down the hall, and Sakura nudges Shika, smirking. "You haven't changed that much," she whispers, and he whacks her lightly, gesturing at his younger counterpart. Sakura shrugs, smirks again, and watches as he stops halfway through throwing his hands in the air in exasperation to loop his arm around her shoulder and pull her in. "Hey!" she says, pulls out of his grasp and shoves him, laughing.

 

Yoshino emerges from the kitchen at the sound of voices, and her smile, when she sees them, is almost overly friendly. "Oh! Shikamari and Shikaken, right?" she says, "Just moved into the house by the entrance?"

 

Shika makes no move to respond, staring at his mom, so Sakura steps in for him. "That's us!" she says, smiling, "We realised we don't have any food in the house, and were hoping we could have breakfast here? We'll help, of course, right Shikaken?"

 

"But," Shika says, and Sakura steps on his foot, still smiling. "Sh- yeah, sure."

 

Yoshino laughs, stepping aside to let them into the kitchen. "Of course you can have breakfast here!" she says, "What kind of clan would we be if we couldn't feed our members?" Then, she turns in the hallway, to yell back into the house. "Shikaku!" she calls, "Guests!"

 

When Shikaku joins them minutes later grumbling about it being too early for guests, Sakura isn't surprised. She also isn't surprised to discover that Shika acts a lot like his father in the early morning and has absolutely no qualms about snorting in her amusement as she shares a long-suffering glance with Yoshino when she discovers that fact. Breakfast is a warm affair - warmer than she'd thought it would be, eating with people who don't  _really_  know them. But it  _is_  warm, it's nice, and Yoshino tells her stories about Shika's childhood - making the younger complain and her partner glare in silence, lest he expose himself - and Shikaku drags her and both iterations of Shikamaru into a debate about village security and being a Jounin; although the younger version drops out at that point, claiming inexperience. Sakura doesn't blame him - all three of them are coming from the point of view of Jounin-level ninja who've faced war; and he's only newly a Genin.

 

After thanking Yoshino for breakfast, Sakura drags Shika with her to the Hokage tower. "We need money," she says when he groans, "And to get money, we need to do missions." Shika groans again, but he follows when she lets him go, so Sakura ignores it, heading for the Hokage's office.

 

* * *

 

"Since you're new Jounin," the Hokage says, "And new to the village on top of that, you can only take D and C-rank missions for now."

 

"Of course," Shika says, "We understand, Hokage-sama." 

 

Sarutobi smiles, and gestures for Iruka - and  _god_ , Sakura had forgotten that Iruka manned the missions desk in his spare time - to give them their missions - two D-ranks; weeding and painting a house. Sakura bows,  thanks her old teacher for the scrolls, and they hurry off. "Shadow clones to get it done faster, take as many missions as possible, first priority for purchase: food, followed by clothing and equipment?" Shika nods, and they split up to do the exhausting but easy work of D-rank missions.

 

* * *

 

When they meet up again, it's dark, and Sakura's smile is all teeth. "Ten," she says, because she never quite outgrew her competitive streak, "what about you?"

 

"Nine," Shika grumbles, and Sakura laughs, light, and nudges him with her shoulder as she falls into step beside him. They walk back to their new house together, a comfortable silence falling over them like a cloak. It's, well. It's nice. They've got money, now, and food in the house (Sakura had pulled them both to a stop half-way through the day, dragged Shika with her to the market and then made him carry most of the bags as they headed back to their house with the food. It's not that she  _can't_  carry them, it's that it's funny to watch Shika complain about having to) and the people they had once thought dead are alive.

 

It's a good time to come back to, Sakura supposes, although she would have preferred to be able to stop some other things (the Kanabi Bridge mission, for example).

 

Oh well, she can't do anything about it now. They might as well focus on the things they  _can_  change - namely, the thing to approach the soonest, the Wave mission.

 

"Hey, Shika," Sakura says, and her voice is quieter than she'd intended it to be - smaller, almost. "Do we want to change the Wave mission?"

 

"The wave mission?" he tilts his head when he looks at her, like a particularly curious cat. "I don't know. I wasn't there. What do you think?"

 

Sakura hesitates, frowns. The Wave mission was painful, traumatising. Sasuke almost died, Naruto lost control of Kurama and Kakashi got chakra exhaustion twice. Even  _she_  could see it was a mess, as a Ninja who wasn't even really a ninja. But... it also brought them closer together. It got Sakura to  _try_ , even a little more.

 

(Even if it was really Sasuke's defection that made her try and get stronger, the wave mission  _did_  kickstart things.)

 

And so she hesitates to stop this, hesitates to  _fix_  it, because what the wave mission gave them may not be something that can be recreated in other circumstances.

 

"Let's leave it," she says, "It didn't turn out too badly."

 

 _Zabuza and Haku might not agree with that_ , Inner points out mildly. Sakura frowns, but doesn't rescind her decision. She knows that every choice she makes changes things, and they'd agreed before they even got to Konoha that they'd change as much as possible, but. Sometimes, Sakura feels like she lost some of her empathy, in those last few years. Like she killed too many, destroyed too much, and lost herself in the process.

 

And she can't bring herself to care.

 

Maybe she's a little broken, a little dark, a little bit more apathetic than even a ninja should be, but she has Shika to help her, and Shika has her in return.

 

"I think," she starts, hesitates, "I think the first thing we should change is how Naruto's been living."

 

"Yeah," Shika says, quiet, "Yeah, we should try to fix that as soon as possible."

 

* * *

 

They do more D-ranks the day after that, and Shika gets given their first C-rank three days into their trip to Konoha. He's sent with Genma and Raidou - three Jounin for a C-rank, and Sakura can't help but snort at the overkill; all because they don't quite trust her and Shika yet.

 

"Got more than they paid for, huh?" Sakura says, leaning into Shika. He laughs, shoves her off him, just lightly.

 

"Exactly," he says, "I'll be fine."

 

"I'm not worried about you!" Sakura replies, sticking her tongue out. "What am I going to do? All alone in the village, no-one to keep me company..." she wraps her arms around herself and sways dramatically, laughing as Shika rolls his eyes and bounds off.

 

"You'll be fine too!" He yells behind him, and Sakura snorts, pushing herself to catch up.

 

* * *

 

Shika's gone for two days, and Sakura spends that time splitting her attention between D-ranks and the Jounin station. There's a surprisingly large amount of gossip that goes on in there - Sakura was only made Jounin part-way through the war, when it was less gossip and more a heavy silence, falling over the room like Pein's gravity jutsu. She learns a surprisingly large amount about the village from just  _listening_ -including the fact that Jounin-senseis apparently spend a  _large amount of time_  complaining about their students.

 

(When she thinks back to her genin days, she realises that the complaints really aren't that surprising. As a genin, she was a menace. Honestly, thinking back, she almost feels sorry for Kakashi, having to deal with her, Naruto  _and_  Sasuke. It can't have been easy.)

 

She also meets some of her friends again - Anko, Kurenai, Gai, Aoba. She sees them all again, alive and kicking,  _joking_ , after watching them fall in the war, one by one. It's nice and sad, all at once, and she finds herself curled around Shika's pillow more than once.

 

(So sue her, it's comforting; her one link to the only person who could possibly feel the same, her one link to something from her past.)

 

* * *

 

Ending up in the mission room at the same time as her old genin team was fortuitous but entirely unintentional. Sakura hadn't meant to meet her younger self so quickly, but she  _had_  intended to try and meet Naruto, and this is her chance.

 

"Hey!" she says, smiles bright, "Kakashi, right? I've heard a lot about you!"

 

"Oh?" Kakashi says, "who from?"

 

Sakura lets her smile turn vicious, turn poisonous, and says, "From Anko."

 

(She delights in how quickly his face pales, in how his genin turn to her with something like awe. She hates to admit it, but Inner was right - Kakashi wasn't the greatest teacher, and hopefully, her influence can change that, if only just a little.)

 

"Ah," he says, "You seem to have me at a disadvantage. You know my name, but I don't know yours, Ms?"

 

"Nara," she says, "Nara Shikamari." She watches him as he looks at her hair, bright and pink, like his students, and doubts. She offers another smile, dripping sweetness if not for the abundance of teeth, as a response. "You're free to ask Shikaku-san if you don't believe me."

 

"I'm sure it's fine," he says, viscerally uncomfortable in her presence. It's entertaining; if a little sad. She waves him off, and turns her attention to Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke.

 

"Hello!" She says, smiles, "What's your names?"

 

"Uzumaki Naruto, y'know!" Naruto says, practically bouncing in place. "Remember it! I'm gonna be the Hokage, y'know!"

 

"Oh, you are?" Sakura remembers the Naruto of her future - a Naruto that was beaten down at every turn, but achieved his goal regardless. She doesn't want this Naruto to feel the same. "I'll look forward to it!" She says, and smiles again.

 

"Uchiha Sasuke," Sasuke says when she turns to him, looking away, hands in his pockets. He's the picture-perfect definition of uninterested. Sakura knows better, though, he's interested, if only a little.

 

"Haruno Sakura," her younger self says as she bows slightly, "It's nice to meet you, Nara-san!"

 

"Just call me Shikamari!" Sakura says, hesitating slightly - barely noticably - over her name. "Nice to meet you, kids." She snaps a salute at Kakashi, heads over to the mission desk, and carefully ensures her old genin team hear her whining about the D-rank.

 

"Shikaken will be back tomorrow," Iruka says, warm and kind - he was always that kind, and the reminder almost makes Sakura want to cry. "You can take a C-rank then."

 

"Fine," she sighs, theatrical in her irritation.

 

 _He didn't deserve to die,_  Inner whispers in her brain. Sakura agrees.

 

* * *

 

Shika returns, and the first thing he does (after dropping off his report at the Hokage's tower) is drape himself over Sakura's lap, an exhausted sigh leaving his lips. Sakura absently runs her fingers through his hair, undoing the loose tie and slowly, methodically, working out the knots.

 

"I met my past self, yesterday," she says, and Shika hums tilting his chin up to look at her. "I think Team Seven likes me better than Kakashi already."

 

"Oh?" Shika says, snorting lightly, "What did you do?"

 

"I told Naruto I couldn't wait to see him as Hokage, made Kakashi turn white, and proved that I do D-ranks myself," Sakura replies, still soft and almost-absent. It's nice, just sitting with Shika, being able to  _relax_  for once. She almost feels like she's floating.

 

Shika laughs, soft, says, "Of course you did," and they fall into a comfortable silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> people: multichapter fics are so good because you can watch as the author gets better over time!  
> me, staring at this in horror: more like you can watch it deteriorate.
> 
> (none of this is proofread by anyone but me - once - and grammarly. we die like men.)
> 
> join the [Genjutsu Support Group](https://discord.gg/J55gftf)! watch us cry over naruto, scream about monster prom, scream at each others writing & generally be a mess of artists and writers and content consumers who don't know how life works! (or, you know, you could watch me do that alone on [tumblr](https://felinedetached.tumblr.com/))
> 
> thank you for reading :D


End file.
